


Don't Let Natasha Take Interviews (she doesn't want to)

by Emotionallyunstabl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Divergent, Coming Out, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, One Shot, Portuguese, Portuguese translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 12:45:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10662888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emotionallyunstabl/pseuds/Emotionallyunstabl
Summary: Don't let Natasha take an interview.She doesn't give a fuck.





	Don't Let Natasha Take Interviews (she doesn't want to)

**Author's Note:**

> Portuguese translation:   
> https://www.wattpad.com/436528203-nao-deixe-natasha-fazer-uma-entrevista-ela-nao   
> Courtesy of Aizek, thank you so much!

"Come on Natasha!"

"No, fuck you, Stark."

"Really!" Tony said indignantly, running after her. "You haven't given an interview in-" he paused, trying to think. "Have you ever given an interview?"

"I don't ever plan on it." She said, storming off to the elevator.

"Come on, Steve's done so many interviews, they don't want another one from him." Tony said, chasing her.

"What about you?" She said, punching a few buttons on in the lift.

"I just did one! Plus, no one likes me." He said, going through the floors.

"No one'll like me either." She retorted, doors opening.

"Yeah, but they don't know that yet." Tony said, following her out the elevator.

"What about Bruce?" She asked. "Or Clint, or even Bucky for Pete's sake!" 

"Clint is away and we can obviously not have them interview Bucky for obvious reasons." Tony retorted, stopping in front of a door.

"And Bruce?" She asked, stopping as well and putting her hands on her hips.

"You know that we agreed a long time ago to only have Bruce interviewed if it's a group interview with all of us." Tony said.

"Why don't we just have a group interview then?" She said.

"We can't have a group interview without Clint, Thor and Steve!" Tony said. 

"Why can't Steve be in an interview?" She asked. "I don't care if they've had him a million times, they can have him again."

"Do you actually think he'll do an interview and leave Bucky at the tower?" Stark asked, eyebrows raised.

"Why do we even need to have an interview at all?" She asked, putting a hand on the door.

"There are people at my tower's door, they are thirsty for something, anything." He said.

Natasha paused for a moment, then pushed open the door to her room. Turning back to Tony, hand on the closing door she said. "Fine, I'll do the stupid interview." And slammed the door in his face.

\-------

A few days later, Natasha was sitting in front of a camera with a middle aged man and a scowl. She got through most of the interview, arms folded and answering monosyllabically. Then the creepy interviewer lent forward.

"Time to ask the juicy questions now!" He said. Natasha frowned, she had answered all of the questions about their 'world saving' and SHEILD or whatever, what more could they possibly ask her.

"We have heard rumours of you dating one of your fellow Avengers, could you tell us which one you are dating?" He asked, smirk on his face. 

Ahh, of course. A girl surrounded by guys, one of them must be her boyfriend.

"I am not dating any of my friends, no." She answered, grimacing at the question.

"Ahh, but a pretty girl like you, the boys would be clambering over you, I'm sure!" He said. 

She smirked at him, she really did not like this guy. "Oh, I know I'm great." She said. "I just don't want to date any of the Avengers, they're not my type."

"Oh, sweetheart," she cringed at the nickname, "I'm pretty sure they're everyone's type."

"How about this," she was annoyed at this guy, "you tell me anyone's name and I'll tell you why I'm not dating them."

The interviewer brightened up at this. "Oh, then we'll finally find out who you're with!"

"I'm single." She corrected, even though she knew she would be ignored.

"What about," the interviewer shuffled through his cards, "Iron Man."

"He's a psychopath who already has a girlfriend somehow." She answered easily.

The interviewer continued to smile. "Thor?"

"He speaks like he's in the eighteenth century and is always hopping off to God land or whatever." She replied.

"Hulk?"

"Bruce is the worst person to live with, total slob." She replied, yawning.

The interviewer's smile faltered for a split second. "What about Hawkeye?" 

"He has a wife and kids, don't really want that while dating."

"The Winter Soldier?"

She laughed quite a bit at this. "I only met him properly a few weeks ago." She paused, still chuckling to herself. "He's a bit old, personally."

The interviewer's smile winded significantly. "So the only one left is-"

"There are two left." Natasha interrupted. "You guys always forget about Sam."

"Ah ha!" He said, joyfully. "So you're with-"

"Oh no, he's too slow and too much of a neat freak." She said, grinning.

"So what about Captain America!" He asked, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"Gay." She replied, monotone.

This wiped the smile of his face. He started to splutter. "G-Gay?" He choked. "But what about-" he took a deep breath to recollect himself. "Come on, sweetie-"

"Natasha, my name is Natasha." She corrected, smiling.

He ignored her. "You can't possibly think people will actually believe that ridiculous lie?"

"It's true." She said, checking her watch. "Ask him or his boyfriend." She smirked. "Can we hurry this up, I've got things to do."

The interviewer looked at her incredulously. "Y-yes, uh, thank you for being here, Natasha."

"You're welcome, it sucked." She replied. "I hope to never have to do this again." And she got up and left the studio.

\-------

Natasha entered the tower to the sounds of arguing, having a suspicion that is was about the interview she just had, she cautiously climbed the stairs to the source of the noise. She pushed open the door to the central living room and walked in.

"What the hell were you thinking, letting her do an interview!" Sam exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

"I thought it was a good idea, I sill think it was a good idea, that interview was great." Tony replied, shrugging.

"Did you even watch it?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, I seem to remember being called a 'psychopath who somehow has a girlfriend'." He replied.

"She-" Sam was cut off by Natasha clearing her throat loudly, the three other people in the room, Sam, Tony, and Steve all turned to look at her.

"So," she said, pretending she hadn't heard the argument, "how'd I do?"

"You did great!" Sam said sarcastically. "Except that you-"

"You could have taken the interview you know." Steve put in from the couch where he was currently lounging at.

"Why are you on their side? She said you were gay!" He asked incredulously.

"Well, I wasn't lying." Natasha said, walking over to a couch and sitting on it.

"Steve doesn't have a boyfriend! He's not gay." Sam said, shaking his head.

"I'm right here you know." Came Steve from the couch.

"He is so gay." Countered Natasha, shaking her head.

"So gay." Agreed Tony, chuckling slightly.

"Again, right here." Steve said, lifting his arms up.

"Who the hell would he be dating then?" Sam asked.

"Maybe my boyfriend." He retorted.

"You don't have a boyfriend." Sam dismissed, then saw Steve's face. "Who the hell's your boyfriend?"

"Who do you think?" Came Natasha.

"You know, this conversation would've been over ages ago if you had just asked me whether I like dudes or not." Steve pointed out.

"How the hell did you not know he was gay?" Tony asked Sam.

"Can you guys stop talking about me as if I wasn't here, that'd be nice." Steve suggested, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You're worse than Clint." Said Natasha. "Even he figured it out."

"I still don't know who Steves boyfr-" Sam started. The door to the living room was swung open and Bucky came in, hair tied back and dropping with sweat. 

"Stark, there's something wrong with my arm." He said, unaware of Sam's widening eyes on him. "I'm going to take a shower." He took his robotic arm off and left it on the table, then walked out of the room, winking at Steve as he went.

"I'm gonna-" Tony gestured vaguely towards the abandoned arm and walked out of the room with it in his arms. Natasha shot Sam a pitiful look and followed Tony out.

I guess Steve forgot about Sam when telling everyone about him and the winter soldier.

**Author's Note:**

> Portuguese translation:   
> https://www.wattpad.com/436528203-nao-deixe-natasha-fazer-uma-entrevista-ela-nao   
> Courtesy of Aizek, thank you so much!


End file.
